Nightmare... =(

Morning guys.. Its only 4 o'clock and I can't sleep.. No, actually I just woke up and can't go to sleep. Here's why..

I had a dream, more like a nightmare. I was at this field (I don't know why all my nightmares are on a field) and I saw Faris there, wearing white, not realising that I'm wearing white too.-,-. That's not the whole point.

After that, I ran to him, saying that I'm really happy to see him again. So, he smiled at me but I can see tears running down from his cheeks. When I said why, he didn't say anything. He just turn back and leave.

I thought he was mad at me (I sent him a text message saying goodbye. I was just saying goodnight actually. He got it wrong, I think). So, I tried to turn back too but my feet wanted to go and catch him again.

Suddenly, he was out of sight. I began to feel scared and lonely. Trust me, I've never had that kind of feeling in my life. I don't know how to describe the feeling actually. It was like angry, sad, dissapointed or something like that. Then, the sky turned dark and there was this HUGE tornado coming to get me. I was like, "Go ahead, take me! I don't wanna live!!".

Then, I felt someone pulled me by the arm. I realised that it was Faris. He told me, "I don't want you to leave me. I just don't want to feel down when you're gone,". WHAT IS THAT SUPPOSE TO MEAN??! I was just smiling until I found out that I'm suffocating. I woke up, still gasping for air.. He sent me a meassage, "U needed someone to hate. Well this is me saying goodbye.". Is it me, or the nightmare is actually happening right now?

~XOXOXOX~

Counting The Days.. =)

What's up bloggers! As if all bloggers are reading this.. Haha, I'm so full of myself.. XD

I'm only 15 and I have to suffer everything. Love life, study, and most importantly my health condition. Its bad, really bad. Even I don't know it turns out really really bad. So, I cried almost every night. Whatever.. =)

I know I wrote about this before but that wasn't detail enough. I have a heart disease and guess what, it runs in the family! 0,o. I don't know why I'm the only who have to get this?!

Another thing that freak me is the doctor told me I might have a short life. WTF?! What kind of doctor should say anything like that?! I know what am I going through but you don't have to say "You have a SHORT LIFE!". Gosh, unsensitive much?

Everyday I felt pain. Everyday, every night, everytime I tried to breath. The pain was crazy. Sometimes I feel like stabbing my heart so that it wouldn't cause such pain anymore. But, I didn't. Mom said I have to be really strong and they are always there for me. I just love my family and friends. They are the best!

Big chances, I'll be having an operation. But knowing me, there's no way I'm gonna be in that cold operation theatre. Too much drama. Haha, get it? Operation theatre? Drama? I know you guys didn't get it. I'm a lame joker..

Holidays.. OMG! Bored Much!

Hey yo! What's up? Hmm, I'm so bored that I don't know what to write on this precious blog of mine.. Haha, is it that precious? Yeah! XD

I'm completely psyched about the school holidays. Imagine 2 weeks doing nothing but fun! Nah, that is Phineas and Ferb's holidays. Not Sufiah's. Mine is a lot more different and less fun.. -,-

I've blow up my one week of school holidays, AT SCHOOL! Fine, its my PMR year. Have to sacrifice a little bit. I just spend ONE day only at Sunway, and that was because I wanted to meet my friend. Just that. Then, Tuesday till today, school. I can't believe I went to school during the holidays...

So, yeah. School's finally over. Now, holidays. There's nothing much I'm gonna do. Maybe spent most of the time studying (yeah right!), Facebook, blogging, music. I don't know. But I don't think I'm gonna anywhere this year. Just stuck in my house. Oh well, that doesn't mean I'm gonna study till I rot inside my room. Maybe. Haha, nah, that wouldn't happen.

Yeah, so, I have to break out now. Trying to find something good, real good to write. Something interesting. ;-). Haha. CIAO!!!

~XOXOXO~

One Day With The Guy I Never Realise

Hey, today was an amazing day. I went out with my peeps, Akmal and Siva, to Sunway Pyramid. We thought of going ice skating (aka seeing me fall hard). But then, Faris came along. So, me and Faris and his friend went to watch Pirates Of The Carribean 4. It was a crazy movie, not kidding.

So, yeah. Akmal and Siva end up getting mad at me cos I didn't go for ice skating with them. Maybe they were just upset about that only. Hello, I went to eat Sushi King with them? Duh! Oh well, after that, we were walking around the place, not knowing where were we heading.

Then, I bought some cupcakes for my beloved family. And gosh! The cupcakes were so cute that I could just eat them all up. Seriously.. But, I brought back home. My friend scold me because I was eating 15 mini-cupcakes. MINI I tell you! Fine, maybe I was too overboard on the cupcakes. But who can deny such marvelous cupcakes?

~XOXOXO~

Just A Few Seconds In My Life

What does that mean? It is so clear.. Only a few seconds in my life, everything changes..

I just found out that I'm suffering from this heart disease thing.. Gah, its crazy. I didn't know it was that serious. Until I felt a pain on my chest everyday. I can't keep it any longer. I went to the doctor, and after a few tests, I was diagnose with this thing.. That doesn't mean I'm dying or what..

The only way to keep me survive is by medication. But its better to have an operation. I'm just scared if I did the operation, I might die faster. More risk.. Don't want to take it.. I'm not supposed to consume sugar, well just a little bit. Not in a large quantity..

Yeah, maybe that shows me something. Maybe I'm not gonna live that long but I'm gonna live life to the fullest. And that's a promise.. <3

MY BIGGEST SECERET EVER!

Friends Are Meant To Be Forever

Hey yo!

Hmm, why am I talking about friendship right now? Because I wanted too! LOL!

I have A LOT of amazing friends. They are too amazing that I can't describe them at all. For example, my bestest girl friends (I love you guys till death!) Sorayya and Syiro. They are mean to me sometimes (all the time), but they are still the best for me. Everytime they scold me or get mad at me (yes, its my own fault -,-), I understand why they are doing that. They are like my sisters. Knows me the best and all!

Then my guy friends. Danial, Zaim, Zairul, Arif, Faizal and Din. There's a lot more but I'm just too lazy to type. Hehe. Well, I'm the closest with Danial. He knows me well and share some secrets that I never share with Sorayya (sorry bout that). Sorayya's mom said that me and Danial looks kinda same. Hmm, not quite agree on that. All I know is we have the same type of nose, I guess? Hmm, not sure. But, I'm the closest to him.

Well, like I said, friends are meant to be forever. Eventhough we fight almost everyday, we still have each other backs. Now that's a tight friendship! Hahaha! My one and only wish is I don't our friendship break, never at all! I love you guys so much!

~XOXOXOXO~

Drama Is BACK!

Wokay, its been a real long time since i updated this blog. Sorry. Hehe. Oh well, life is confusingly fun, fill with sadness and happiness. In short, its weird. Hey,that's life.

Today, I'm gonna talk about my drama competition. Well, we won second place this year but still got to go to the finals. Sick! Hahaha. I met new friends, most of them from SMK Seafield. They were seriously cool kids. No doubt. Our drama was about this love child, played by yours truly, who wanted to know who are her parents. Poor kid. She was raised by this kind doctor who found her mom when her mom was pregnant. Yeah, a lot of screaming too. But, its worth everything.

There you go about all the play. Now, about the boys I met there. Well, I was accidentally scandaled with this guy from SMK Seafield. He's a chubby guy. Cute. Hey, I love chubby guys now! I'm not sure why but I do know they extremely cute. Haha. So, yeah, his name is Idlan. And I didn't know his dad was a somebody because he is very down-to-earth. Aww, how cute. Okay, stop it..

Now, I can't wait for the finals which is in one week's time. A very very short time. Seriously. Oh, did I said that we competed in SMK Subang Jaya or Faris Azim's ex-school. When I reached that school, I burst in tears. Breakdown, I guess? Nah, I missed him too much..

Well, gonna write more soon. Wish me luck for my finals..

~XOXOXO~

Bruno Mars... Hawaiaiian Cupid..

Yeah, Bruno Mars.. He is very famous by now, I guess... With his sweet love songs that would give anyone that heard the songs a feeling or brings tears... He is so awesome! I love Bruno Mars now..

His songs, coincedencely, much related to me.. Hehe.. I loike it! For example, Just The Way You Are, my ex-guitar teacher dedicated that song to me... Huhuhuh.. When You're Lonely, hmm, long story short, someone did that to me.. I was so dumb.. To make it simple, I love his songs and he is my inspiration.. Haha

My fave song from him is supposed to be Talking To The Moon, but it changed to When You're Lonely.. Trust me, the first time I heard his songs, I love them straight away, every one of them... I think he's the kind of singer that is really talented.. Not like Justin Bieber.... Boo!!!

And Bruno Mars is going to be in Malaysia.. I wish I could go.. He's so awesome... I love his songs so much!! My ringtone? Hehehe, Lazy Song.. That really suits myself, huh? It is! Haha!

One In A Million Chance... =)

Hey! I know I just broke up.. Whatever.. I'm still hurt though and I think he must be really really down right now.. =(

But, despite the pain in me, there's a seriously cool thing happened in my life!!! AAAAHHH!!! Haha.. Guess what? Finally, I sang my song on tv! Haha, believe it or not, that's a fact baby! It is so cool and awesome!

It was a normal Tuesday... But when I got home, my mom said that my guitar class is earlier.. So, I was like ok. Then, the principal called said that the class will be much earlier and she said that there's gonna be an interview from tv3... I was seriously like WHAT THE HECK?! I was surprised and that got me jumping all aroung the house until I got into the car...

As I reached the guitar class, there was not a soul in the class... I walked to the dancing studio and saw my teacher was shooting an interview about music.. Then the host asked me to get in because he wanted to interviewed me too... So, I sat there and watched the whole thing being shot.. And it was my turn.. They asked me about everything I know about music.. Then, the big thing happened... They asked me to sing I composed myself.. I was shocked because I don't remember my songs, none of them.. But, I just did the lyrics and sing it..

I really thought that when they broadcasted it, they would cut my singing part.. But, they didn't.. Gosh, it was seriously awesome.. I think that was the best time of my life!!! Wohhooo!! Lets hope that after this, I would get a music contract from anywhere ( yeah right )

~XOXOXOX~

Its Over, I'm Sorry..

Hmm, yes, it is over for both of us.. And I admit it was all my fault.. I'm so sorry but this is for the best..

Its all because I'm confused with my feelings.. I'm not sure who I really love because of this guy... I'm so sure that I'm in love with Afiq but with Faris? Trust me, its confusing...

Gosh, I can't believe that I just broke with him.. I am so sorry.. You don't know how sorry I am for letting you go. But before anything more painful happen to you, its better to let you go now.. Like they said, better now or never..

I'm sorry...

I'm So Wrong, I Guess?

Okay, I think I'm right but I could be wrong..

I don't what's up with me.. I keep seeing him different from his real self... And I'm talking about my friend, Muhammad Faris Affandi.. ( lets just hope he will not open this blog -,- ) I don't know.. I always see him as a normal guy but lately, I see him as... Darn! Its all because of Zaim.. He told me that Faris is kinda off a little bit.. I was shocked when I heard that.. Now, I keep seeing him differently.. I want to tell him this but I just don't know how..

I mean, he's one of my closest friend... And I care about him as much I care as my other friends.. But, is it true that he is "special"? I'm really feeling guilty right now.. Sorayya said that he is just fine... But I swear I could see something different about him.. God! This is hard! I just want to ask him but I can't.. Oh, if only Zaim didn't tell me about this, I wouldn't be thinking he's weird or something..

To Faris, if you are reading this, I'm so sorry if I'm wrong.. I know I'm not supposed to think that way but I don't know why.. I'm so sorry..

Yours Truly,
Sufiah...

Its Just EWWW! (i want that..)

Hahaha.. What a funny title.. Just eww? What's that? Hehe

I just came back from KFC.. I was supposed to go with Akmal but he didn't come.. So, Faizal and Faris were going together and yeah, I'm alone.. As usual, the TWO gays were late.. Surprisingly, I saw Danial and his blegghh! girlfriend.. BOO!! And guess what? They were so disgusting.. Holding hands, feeding each other.. Its just ewww!!! I swear that if the two guys were late 2 minutes, I would have already puke in there!

But, actually there's a whole secret behing that eww-ness.. Hehehe.. I realized something.. I miss him.. How I wish both of us would be like that.. Seeing each other, date.. Huhh.. Too bad, that's not gonna happen. But hey, there's a good thing about that.. No one would like accused us of doing bad things.. I mean, that's good right? Not like what happen to the blegghh! couple ( danial and jiha -,- ).. Both of them were caught by the teachers! And boo yeah! They got a looonnnggg talk with the discpline teacher.. Ooohhh, I'm so evil! Hahaha!!

Oh well, eventhough both of us didn't meet like a normal couple, we are still in love... And I think that having a long distance realtionship is a good thing.. We would miss each other and knows that the love feeling will stay longer than having a guy near you and meet each other EVERYDAY.. But, I have great friends around me! Love them forever! Truly sisters!

~XOXOXOX~

Sad Because Of An Annoying Guy..

Hmm, I wonder who made me sad...

A few days ago, my friend who I used to hate went to a boarding school.. And for no reason, I was sad, real sad.. He's the guy that you will thought so macho and all that... But actually he's super annoying.. So annoying that I don't want to talk to him.. But, both of us were friends..

He told me that he gets to go to a boarding school and I was like, ok, whatever.. Then, last Sunday, he sent me a text message saying goodbye.. I freaked out! Oh my god, he's going away for the next two years.. I took my chance to call him and said goodbye.. It turns out that we were texting from 6pm until 11pm.. And weirdly, I was in the car then I cried.. Damn it, my mom saw that I was crying because of him.. I told him that I'm so gonna miss the time when he gets so annoying.. He replied, " Yeah, I like u too..". I was seriously stunned when he said that..

So, at night, we were still texting.. Its like I can't accept the fact that he'll be gone, for good.. But, I slowly accept that.. But, what I can't accept is when he sent me his last text message.. It says, " U know what, the more we talk, I start to develop more interest in u..". I can't help by those words and burst into tears.. It was seriously sad for me... I can't believe I cried for a guy who is so annoying but yet my friend.. My words for him, Good luck, Good bye and Have FUN!!

~XOXOXOX~

Once More, A JERK ON A ROLL!!!

Yo, what's up!

A jerk on a roll? Yep, exactly... This JERK is the one and only MUIZ... He's the freakiest jerk I've ever known and met! Look, I have my own reasons why I hate him so much, I could kill him and banish him from this earth!

It began when yesterday, I said I wanna talk to him.. That's because for some reason I felt guilty all of a sudden..Its a weird feeling I tell you.. So, right after my sports practice, I went and meet him and talked to him.. So, stupidly, I told him what I actually felt.. At first, he understands me.. But then, he started to blabbing about me making him look bad in front of ALL the teachers! I was like WTH?! So, that's what he thought of me huh?!

Just because of he is a prefect, he has to look perfect in front of the teachers?! Ughh! Since then, I know, a jerk will stay as a jerk no matter what.. I really thought he might change but nah, it won't happen, at all! As for me, I was so stupid for telling him that.. I should have seen that coming.. Guess I'm not that smart huh?

Tough luck..

~XOXOXO~

Senorita Sufiah...

Hey! What's up?!

Ok, I'm feeling kind of sick but a little bit psycho.. So, conclusion, sick-o.. I've got tons of nick names but I don't want to talk about my stupid nicknames that my beloved friends gave me...

Senorita... I'm referring to SENIOR.. Hey, I'm a girl.. So, it is suppose to be SENORITA.. Like whatever then.. Haha.. So, I met this group of Form 1's.. (I'm form 3!).. Me and my peeps were having our recess when these girls were rude to us.. Akmal was saying something and suddenly the rudest among them was being real rude! Gosh, they were like juniors and all of us were senior.. Where is the respect?!

So, as the days goes by, me and Sorayya were dying to tell them of! Then came this fateful day that both of us were telling them to respect someone older than them.. Since then, non of them dared to talk to us.. Not even look inside our eyes.. How's that for respect?!

But, not all juniors are mean and rude.. If they are mean and rude, they will stay that way.. But, for the nice one, its a lot different.. I mean it, A LOT..

For example, just now, my drama club held an audition.. So, I'm one of the judges.. Haha... Then, there's this group of Form 1's.. After two contestants, I became bored and went to the place where the kids were hanging out before they were called.. I met this girl, Badrica.. Yeah, she's pretty.. She has this Chinese-Arab mix... Just like moi.. So, surprisingly, both of us get along together.. Then, she called me her soul sister.. Aww, I'm so touched.. Hehehe..

So, like I said, small ones have to respect the big ones in order to get the big ones to respect you.. Or else, it will turn out bad.. I mean it.. And I don't kid about respect! Oh yeah..

~XOXOXOX~

When That Moment Comes To An End..

Hey yo..

I'm seriously feeling down.. That's because someone made me that way.. My dearest music teacher, Mr. Hezron.. He's gonna leave next week.. So, I'm gonna write about him.. From the first time I met him until today...

My teacher was supposed to be this rock dude... He doesn't have any feelings at all.. And I was like, yeah, ok.. Then, one day, Jovy said that I'm gonna have a new teacher, Hezron.. I was like who? So, when I came into the class, I saw this man with a clean feature.. And yeah, he's cute.. =)

So, there we were.. Had an amazing time in the class.. Just the two of us.. He was a real nice teacher, fun and a little chilidish, but still cute though.. I had the time of my life every Tuesday.. Its a memory I'll never forget..

But, there's a memory I want to forget but I just can't.. It was the day that he told me that he was leaving.. He said he's gonna leave somewhere in February.. So, I prepared myself to be real sad on February...

Too bad for me, I was at class this evening... He told me that he is seriously gonna leave.. And stupidly I was asking when he's gonna leave.. This is what he told me..
"Actually, I'm supposed to leave this week, but I took another week. So, next week, its the last class for me," with an innocent smile.. I was seriously shock! How could he be so calm? But I know, deep inside, he was hurt..

So, I can't believe that a year had gone really fast.. Now, he's leaving for good.. But, I don't think anyone could replace him.. I know that because he's ONE IN A MILLION..

Fire And Rain!

Yeah, I'm feeling too active today.. Not sure why..

Oh well, last week was a real busy week for me.. With studies and sports and so on.. And yeah, knowing Malaysia, its always raining and hot... Which is not surprise.. The weird thing that I noticed is every Monday, its always raining.. But other days, its just sunny and beautiful..

Studies is just okay.. Not that hard to understand, at least not yet... But hey, I'm catching up fast.. Haha.. And this year I decided to go active in sports.. And the only I'm in right now, RUGBY! Oh yeah, everyone was really really surprised why did I entered that type of game.. I was like, I'm sick playing other games and this game rocks! And the coach was super nice.. Its not wrong right trying out new things?

So, just now, I came back from my school around 4.15.. I was supposed to be back by 4 but duh, it was raining hard.. So, I hung out with my friends, well my close friend, Faris.. And weirdly I still hung out with that "WHITE CHOCOLATE".. I don't know why... I tried to get away from him.. Then, at last, me and him are just friends.. Its uo to him to think if I'm just a friend or someone else.. But I'll be like, WHATEVER! Haha..

Well, I've gotta go.. Got stuffs to do.. Will write more about me and my entire life.. Till then..

~XOXOXOXO~

Just A Life..

Hey hey...

Ok, I'm having a bad cold today.. Darn! Hate it.. Just a life? Hahaha.. Its just a title.. Not sure what to write.. But I'll try to think about it..

Oh yeah, I'm playing rugby now... Fun! The coach was scary when I saw him for the first time.. But then, he was really sporting! Now, every week I'll be coming to school every Saturday for rugby.. Can't wait.. And unfortunately, I've been quite sick lately... My asthma attacked me like 5 times this month... Seriously hate it..

Oh well, I seriously don't know what to write but if I came up with anything, I'll write.. Ciao for now!

~XOXOXO~

Falls And Crawls..

Yayy! Its already one week since the school's open..
Ok, what do I mean by falls and crawls? Its actually a real thing happened to me, at school, of course.. Lets start with falls...

One fateful day (yeah right..), I was foing down the stairs at my house to take my bag.. I was just finished bathing that time.. But, when I was going down, I accidentally slip and slide.. I was like woah! That hurts.. Seriously, that really hurts.. When I thought that was it, I didn't know what is coming at school..

Once I reached my class, I was half-surprised what had happened inside there.. I was half surprise because I know my class has holes in it but I didn't know it could make such flood! After that, the class teacher asked us to study in the hall which was cool because we had to learn inside a huge hall with only 40 students inside... So, we had the hall all to ourselves..

Then, after recess, it was Bahasa Melayu period.. Before the teacher came in, me and Sorayya played and danced (normal for us..) at the back of the hall... Suddenly, the teacher came in.. Me and Sorayya ran as fast as we could.. But unlucky for me and I don't know how, I fell down, hard! Its a good thing that only a few people saw that.. But trust me, the pain was unbearable! I can't even move my hands that time.. But its a good thing it was on my left side..

So, that's what happened on the first week.. Well, you may ask why I put crawls.. Nah, I was actually trying to find something that rhymes with falls.. So, hehehe..

~XOXOXOX~

Need You Forever

This is not my life, but a story that I dreamt..

Lia is a 20 year-old girl. She's a pretty girl with brown wavy hair, hazel eyes and a perfect smile. Yes, everyone thought that she is perfect and every guy that she met fell in love with her. Who wouldn't want a girl that is really soft spoken, sweet and nice. But, too bad for all the guys that like her, she doesn't believe in love, at all... So, she never had a boyfriend before..

One day, she was walking around the park. While she was reading a book, she bumped to a guy. Lia saw that guy. It was her cousin, Rick.

"Rick? Is that you?" asked Lia with full of curiousity.

"Hmm, wait, are you Lia? Oh my god, what are you doing here?" Rick finally realise.

"Oh, I stay here. Wow, you look different,". So, Lia and Rick were talking to each other. Rick was doing his study there. Lia was happy she found him.

After a week they met, Lia and Rick knew something. They were in love but they can't tell. One night, when they were having a dinner by the beach, Lia got up to take a drink. Suddenly, she tripped her feet on a tree root. She fell down and accidently, kissed Rick. After the kiss, Rick told Lia he was actually falling for her since they were 18. But, Lia was still strucked about the kiss and Rick's confession. It was the first time ever that she felt love. That night ended like a fairytale for Lia and Rick

Lia and Rick were happy with each other. Lia decided to live with Rick. One day, Lia asked Rick,

"Rick, no one knows that we are having a relationship, right? I mean our family? You know, we are cousins,".

"Well, if they knew about it, I don't think we can be in this relationship, baby," answered Rick. Lia was confused. She's a girl that always tell everything to her parents. But about this, she decided not to tell them just to save their relationship.

It was winter in New Jersey. Rick was sleeping when Lia got up to get some cough mixture. She was coughing for about two months, non-stop. She thought it was just a normal cough. That afternoon, Lia was coughing badly until blood came out. When she went to see Dr. Michelson, he said she was having lung cancer. Lia burst out in tears when she knew about it. Dr. Michelson told her that she have about 6 months to live bacause her lung was in a bad shape. Walking back home, Lia was thinking if she should tell Rick about it. But, she decided to keep it a secret.

Lia and Rick were having a dinner when Rick asked how was her coughing.

"Oh, its all good. Dr. Michelson said its just a normal cough. You don't have to worry, okay? Rick, if I can only live for another 6 months, what would you do?".

"What are you talking about, baby? I would live everyday for you. Now, stop talking about that. I love you and I don't want to lose you at all," answered Rick, confused.

It had been 5 months. Lia was looking very sick and pale. But, whenever Rick asked her why, she answered that its nothing. But, Rick beginning to worry and went to see Dr. Michelson. Dr. Michelson told him that Lia was suffering from a chronic lung cancer. Rick couldn't believe what he heard. How could Lia didn't tell him about her condition? Why did she decided to suffer it herself? Rick was angry with her.

Once Rick reached home, Lia was cooking and coughing.

"How could you?!" screamed Rick.

"What? What are you talking about?!"

"You are sick! And you didn't even tell me about it?!"

"Look, its not your problem! I'm the one who is sick. Not you. You want the truth? I'll give it to you."

(will be continued..)